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Now, it seems silly that at one point, I thought, “I might not be alone tonight.” Stupid, isn’t it? Why would someone who worked full time all week get out of bed now? They’re exhausted, obviously. I wonder what affects how people choose their priorities. That’s why people, constantly really, are left feeling disappointed. Maybe it’s fate. Maybe it’s lack of communication. People are tired, naturally, they go to sleep. But I’m tired & I can’t sleep… If sleep isn’t what cures this exhaustion, then what is? Someone might suggest solutions, but no one’s willing to provide it. But why would someone even care? Why would someone spare the effort to help someone, if it doesn’t include some reward of the sexual variety, at this time of night, especially if it’s at their inconvenience? Like inconvenience to their sleeping patterns? How preposterous. I know I sound sarcastic & selfish, but what if I’m not? What if it’s the human race that’s born so selfish, that my thoughts (or anyone else’s thoughts who may be similar to mine) lead you to conclude that your undisturbed schedule is more precious than the psychological needs of someone else? Whatever, it doesn’t matter. I’ll light a candle before I go to bed for chance that staring at the flame will be kind enough to let me fall asleep. If I’m lucky enough to do so, it might even be kind enough to let me stay that way. I don’t like what the world is when I’m awake, & I sure as hell wouldn’t feel the need to bother anybody.

raant .

i fucking hate boys. i hate how much they don’t care & their lack of emotion. i hate how they’ll lie to you only to disappoint you in the end. i fucking hate that no matter how hard i try, i always fall for their fucking jokes & there’s nothing i can do about it. i feel sorry for every girl that’s fallen for a guy because i don’t doubt for a second that they’re all the same. lesbians are doing it right.

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